I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
