You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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