I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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