There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
