You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
