I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
