Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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