I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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