Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
