Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
