so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize