It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
