Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
