It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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