Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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