Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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