Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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