So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He better not be in your backpack
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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