The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
