i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
