I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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