Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
