So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You ever have a fart follow you around?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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