He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
