Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
