Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
