they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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