I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize