thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
