K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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