Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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