My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
