You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
