Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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