I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
