If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
