Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Success! We fucked roommates!
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