If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
