people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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