East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
