ya dads aren't the best wingmen
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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