WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
