I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize