I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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