Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
