it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
