Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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