In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
