I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
