dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
