Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
