your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
