If that was your dad, he is hot
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
