So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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