She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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