i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
