should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize