where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
