did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
