high people should be assigned attendants
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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