Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
