Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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