Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
