I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
What a dumb baby whore.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize