I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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