..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you traded sex for a burrito?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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