Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
