And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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