if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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