please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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