I love black thongs
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
