i already hear my dad disowning me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize