how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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