apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
